When the sun comes down
When the rain wash away
All the hopes I can bring
To another day, another day

When your trees start to sway
And the wind makes them move

I can tell that
You don't know

this is our story.
well, not so detailed.



March, 2005. you started to console me over the issue of my depression over Daryl. you were so nice, warm and all, listening to all of my troubles. you gave me a nice feeling whenever I'm talking to you over the net. then somehow, I began to like you bit by bit as the time passed. then there was the time when you and Richie had some conflict and a hoo-haa came about. you were so cold then that I couldn't talk to you, and it worried me so much. however, you cooled down soon enough & the conflict was solved. during this period, yeah, we communicated a lot. & then it was your birthday, when Sharon and I tagged along with you and Richie out to town. we sure had some fun. you gave all of us a treat at BK, I tricked Richie with the sauces, you said that cleaner was checking you out (Lol), yeah fun was what we had that night out. during then, I wanted, and wished that day would repeat itself.



You might think
I don't look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you



April, 2005. we got closer as we continued to communicate. our communication was a non-stop kind of SMS-ing and all. like, when one of us happened to fall asleep before the message came, we would reply the message the next morning and we'll start all over again. we would still communicate with our phones even during curriculum. then it came to my birthday, the day I turned 14. I wished you were right there at my party as I thought it would be a good birthday present. you weren't. however, I received something as good as that, even though it is just an SMS. you gave a kind of confession over the texts and you sounded so really sweet; you didn't even stop after midnight. I remember how happy I was during my birthday party that night; smiling throughout the day even though I was already tired. I felt really glad then. one day, you said you initially wanted a relationship but you're afraid that you'll be the one ending it. therefore, we just stayed at that stage of dating and didn't go any further. since then, you've started to walk me to my bus-stop almost everyday after school. yeah, although it was a short walk but we always had a good laugh on the way there. I guess guys are all the same; they behave differently when their friends are not around. you are so sweet and cute in front of me, but you just pretend not to notice me in front of your friends. yeah and we thought it was funny then. Miss me cos I miss you too.



I'm weak, it's true
Cos I'm afraid of the answer



May, 2005. you promised me that we'll enjoy ourselves after the Mid-year examinations. but that didn't some at all. just after the exams were done, we were already through. you told me you still liked the girl you did when you were Sec 3. you said that you had did a soul-search upon yourself and found out that you needed someone at that point of time, and that's me. so hurt, I was. but I asked you a question; did you ever loved me then? when you said yes, I doubted you for a moment, but still I believed, and I still do. & yeah since then we were back to square one, being friends once more.
& you chose our theme song; True - Ryan Cabrera. I bet you don't even have the slighest impression of it, when it meant so much to me.



I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true



2006. we've been communicating like good friends and all. hung out once or twice in a group. I remember that dumb arcade game that Joanne, you and I played like crazy at the Singapore Poly Graduates' Guild. yeah we had a good laugh.
Even after I had a boyfriend (and broke up) after our relationship, you're just there at the back of my mind. I always thought about things that make me feel so stupid. things like whether we could be together again, things like what are you thinking, things like if you still have any feelings for me. these thoughts filled my mind nowadays as long as I had too much time to think. I had been trying to occupy myself these days to distract me, but there is always at least an hour for me to do nothing but think about things. at such times, I only think about these thoughts other than Eelin. I thought about going on with life, but another part of me just nudges and seems to say "Why not giving it a try?". then, the other part will fight back with "What about rejection?". so and so. I've been sleeping all of them off, but they would still come back somehow.
then it came. recently, you had been dead and all. not responding to me. I hate to do it, but I jumped into conclusions. thinking that you were avoiding me, thinking that you know something, thinking that maybe you're busy. then I asked myself, "For what is he doing that? How do you know?" yeah and the fight within me starts all over again.

I feel so stupid. Maybe I am, because I am thinking about stupid things that shouldn't even be thought about.



I just want to say something;

I Miss You, Dixie.