When the sun comes down
When the rain wash away
All the hopes I can bring
To another day, another day

When your trees start to sway
And the wind makes them move

I can tell that
You don't know

..WHY of all people, me?

i had tried all means
to get close to you
to hint that i still like you
to get just a bit of attention from u
to be the same again
but
u didnt respond to any of my efforts
"the flame died"
is the reason u gave me
on may 6 2004.
u didnt care how heartbroken i was
tho stitched up, its still bleeding til now
u dont know
cos u didnt even bother a single bit
i cared for u for all these months in the dark
i dare not talk nor ask about u personally
i go around asking how were you doing
i had been your moon,
shining on you during ur darkest hours..
why must i do all these?
why must i waste my love on you?
its bcos i love u too much
at the climax when i loved u the most
u threw me aside with those three words,
plus a "sorry".
whats that sorry for? its nothing but a word.
i had forgiven u then
told myself that there are many more trees out there
i found some, did i? i dont think so.
two trees were hurt by me
coz there is a big giant tree planted in my heart
it left little space for the poor trees i found.
one was really heartbroken.
i feel really sorry for it..
i was all my fault.
but why, just tell me why
did u leave me just like that then?
i dont want to suffer no more
my heart had been crying nowadays
it forbid my eyes to let my tears flow
it cried for them instead.
my heart bled and cried..
still i cared for you, i hid my feelings.
i really hoped u would have a change of heart
but it seemed like a big nono for me
u didnt respond
u didnt change
but i didnt stop
i still carried on
i tried to talk to you
u ignored
i wanna chat wit u when i was in a bad mood
u told me "talk to you later"
your "later" didnt come. AT ALL.
i forgave you for that.
maybe u were too busy.
thats the problem with me!
i always thought: maybe you are busy .
i don really know what was happening to you!
i wanted to ask you
but i was afraid it would happen again
afraid that i would piss u off again
all these are torturing me already.
now? u are interested in anutha gurl !!
wad? why? WHY?
of all people why heR?
of ALL people WHY ME??
why must i fall in luv with u at the first place?
why must u tell me u liked me at the first place?
why must i hav met u in the first place?
why must i even noticed u before in the first place?
WHY ??
u've hurt me, again and again-
i forgave u, again and again.
u told me we would be friends.
BUT
you are not even talking to me!!
u used to sae hi to me everytime when we met
now? its like as if im invisible.
even when i said hi,
U WALKED STRAIGHT PAST ME
WITHOUT LOOKING-
how close were you to me?
really close until i can feel ur breath!
what did i do wrong?
whats wrong with me?
ive stopped myself from loving u since the holidays
i expected more friendliness in u towards me
but NOTHING!
i treat u as a friend of mine now.
like a companion to pour my heart out to.
u didnt even spare a minute for me
im happy whenever u reply my msgs
even if its just a short and flat one.
but why did everything,
suddenly just came to a stop?
i really dont undertsand.. can u tell me?

i miss the days u sat next to me and talk
we talked about almost anything
i donno wad im doing
i donno wad im thinking
why must all these happen to me??

i miss the old -you i knew before.
he seems to be a stranger to me now.
can i bring him back?
can i bring back those friendly 'hi's
those hand waves
those nice casual chats
those smiles he gave me before?

you were the one who took my heart away
now it is lost, and i cant find it
only you can show me the way to where it is
coz you are the one who brought it to wherever it is

i dont break down so easily
i dont cry easily.
if i break down or cry,
it means im really hurt,
it means theres something really wrong with me
i cried the times when u hurt me deep
deep deep inside.
to specify my 'cry' ,
my tears dont flow from my eyes
its from my heart.
its really painful
and only you can put a stop to it.

frustration.love.hatred.devastation

when will i give up?
i dont know about it myself.
you know how i feel.
you are just ignoring it.
why cant u just talk to me a little?
i just need a little attention
a little love as a friend
a listening ear
a shoulder to cry on
a friend to hug during my darkest hours
-from you, thats all i want
you're evil.
i hate you for throwing me aside then
but i still love you.
no-one seem to be able to take ur place
cos you rock and always will-

but i hope someone will do so soon
before my heart bleeds to death.

yes, im talking about you, my dear boy.
and you, gurl.